Wendy Watkins

The Top Ten Lessons I Learned from My Clients in 2014 (Part 2)

January 21st, 2015

No matter where you are in your life or career, it’s important to continue the learning process. I am fortunate to have the opportunity to learn from my clients each and every day. In my last blog post, I shared the first five of the ten lessons I learned from my clients in 2014.

A reader asked if they were in any particular order of importance. I did not prioritize when I wrote them, however, I do believe it would be beneficial for you to choose 2 or 3 of these teachings and put some attention on them to create a delicious 2015.

If what we put our attention on expands, I encourage you to decide what it is you really want for the year, and put some thought to it regularly. Use a few of these lessons to help you honor your intentions for the year.

Without a connection to what gives you meaning, effort feels fruitless – When J.S.’s kids told him he was not a fun dad anymore, he knew he needed to change how we was approaching life both personally and professionally. Knowing your Big Why (becoming happier so he would have more fun with his kids) helped him focus on making the changes he wanted to achieve, even when it felt really hard.
A small change makes for huge impact – When I began working with D., she was mired down with doubt and lack of confidence in her ability to be seen as an expert. By making a few minor adjustments in how she saw herself, it shifted her approach to networking. In a very short time, she has become a relationship building machine and her confidence increased ten-fold.
Delegation is essential – Almost every client I work with has a bit of ‘control freakiness’ to them. As they realize this mindset is keeping them stuck, witnessing them “letting go” of doing the things they are not good at has inspired me to continue to do the same. Something as simple as hiring a bookkeeper opens up time and space for J.S. to have more fun with his kids.
Finally moving forward on something they have been procrastinating on – Watching A. come into integrity with himself by creating the steps to launch his organization here in the U.S. has shown me that it’s easy to become mired down in what we are not doing. As soon as a clear plan is put into place, everything else lines up and action becomes easier.
Confidence grows from practicing what you’re fearful about – When we are learning a new skill, whether it is knitting, interviewing or having successful sales conversations, practice strengthens the belief that we know what we are doing. D. practiced her sales conversations with friends, colleagues and potential clients. She went from being terrified to terrific from applying the skills she learned to real life situations. Instead of making up that she was not good at these conversations, she used her experience to change that internal conversation to a confident one.

Now it is your turn to go out there and encounter the lessons from playing the game of life all out. The only way to expand both personally and professionally is to learn from your experiences. If you are not learning, you are not growing. If you are not growing, you are missing out on an amazing journey. Ready, set, here you go… learn and grow!

Categories Blog, Self-Care, Success

The Top Ten Lessons I Learned from My Clients in 2014 (Part 1)

by Wendy Watkins

January 7th, 2015

“The one lesson I have learned is there is no substitute for paying attention.” Diane Sawyer

I coach the most amazing people. They are smart, successful, fun and contribute value to their community and beyond. And, they have dreams and aspirations that they are ready to achieve.

The results they consistently create blow me away. I am wowed time and time again by the power of their clarity, focus and commitment to create what they desire in their life and business.

I have learned A LOT from them – it would be selfish to keep this amazing wisdom all to myself. Today you have the opportunity to read the first five of ten tips – look for part 2 in the January 22^nd newsletter.

Read on and learn from the movers and shakers of our times…

Having fun is an important skill you can learn to create success – Fun looks different for everyone. For some, fun comes in learning new things, for others it shows up in creating systems so day to day tasks become a no-brainer. * was thrilled when she learned how to make finances, including invoicing more fun by having it scheduled each month and using a timer to complete this once overwhelming task.
The best way to take risks begins with baby steps – It can be daunting to create something new in life. When R. wanted to change careers after many successful years at his job, he “tried on” a few experiences he had pondered for many years. When he moved from just thinking about change to actually doing something a little as a time, he was able to take things off of the list or keep them there from experience.
Clarity = Confidence – Living in the land of “I Don’t Know What to Do Next” is exhausting. L., who recently retired and is living in a new city, was not flourishing. Watching her gain clarity on what was fulfilling to her, and then weaving these activities into her life inspired me. Her clarity around her passions and purpose gave her the courage to try new things and create a flourishing life.
Plan, Do, Study, Act – Most of us like to experience instant gratification. Yet, as an entrepreneur, S. learned that to create sustainable success you have to plan, execute your strategy, look at it and decide from there if it truly was the best thing to do for the business. Watching her try a little of this and a little of that and integrating what gave her positive and profitable results reminded me that building a business can be like fine wine, it needs some time to become its best.
You can integrate the change you desire, with a plan and patience – J. has been an organizer for many years. She was looking for ways to streamline her services so she could work smarter and not harder. Witnessing her gaining clarity on what’s next and allowing the process to unfold reminded me that Rome was not built in a day – change takes time and J reminded me how to enjoy the process of creating that in her life.

Lessons are best learned when we practice them and share them with others. I would love to hear which of these lessons you resonate with and how you ‘ll make the change you desire for increased success and fulfillment in the New Year. Leave comments here on the blog. I look forward to learning from you in this New Year!

*Initials have been used in place of names of my clients.

Categories Blog, Optimism, Passion, Success

Tips to Easily Merge into the New Year.

by Wendy Watkins

December 18th, 2014

We are all heading somewhere.

Whether it’s to visit family for the holidays, a trip to the grocery store or being on the path to enhance your life, one thing necessary to arrive at your destination is learning how to change lanes effectively.

I could speak to you about literally changing lanes – using your blinkers, mirrors and gracefully merging into the gap that awaits you. That will surely get you to your destination safely and on time.

Let’s move this conversation to metaphorically changing lanes in your life.

With the New Year right around the corner, reflecting on 2014 will inform you of where you want to go in 2015.

What lane do you want to be in 2015?

The fast lane, the slow lane or somewhere in the middle?

For those of you that have been following me for a minute, you know I choose the fast lane. However, I’ve had a few signals lately, partnered with internal nudges, to move to a different lane.

How the heck do you do that when you’re used to moving at 100 mph and you have got places to go?

First, ease your foot off the gas. As I ponder what’s most important these days, I reconnect with my personal values, the non-negotiables that have to be present for me to say YES to something. If the activity is not aligned with those values, I say no, or at least not now. One of my values is to have fun with everything I do, so if it is not fun, I either look at how to make it fun or delegate the task to someone that finds it fun.

As I slow down, I enjoy the beauty around me. This lets me pick and choose the things I want to fill my calendar with. The second step to effectively changing lanes is to surround yourself with people that are spending time in the lane you want to be in.

Jim Rohn, author, entrepreneur and motivational speaker said, we are most like the 5 people we spend the most time with. Make a list of the people you are with the most and honestly ask yourself if they are supporting you in getting to your chosen destination. If not, start to put your attention on the type of people you desire and begin to attract them into your life.

Last but not least, have a clear picture of where you are going. I-285 is a highway that’s a big circle, outlining Atlanta. If you’re not sure where you are heading, it feels like you are going in circles – literally. Choose what you want to achieve this month and pick a lane, any lane. Committing to it will help you arrive there with more ease.

If you want to enjoy the holidays like you never have before, make sure your activities are aligned with what is most important to you, weave in the people you want to spend time with and have a clear picture of what you want to accomplish—even if accomplishment means more naps during the holiday break.

What lane will you choose to drive you forward in creating a phenomenal New Year?

Categories Blog, Passion, Self-Care, Success

3 Tips for a Delicious December

by Wendy Watkins

December 3rd, 2014

With family that lives just a few hours away in SC, we spent a bit of time in the car on Thanksgiving weekend.

I’m continually surprised how we can be moving along nicely, humming along at 70 ish mph and then, nothing but brake lights. A bit of stop and go, then back to in the flow.

How I received the knack to look at everyday situations and turn them into learning opportunities is beside me, but hey, think about this…

Isn’t it awesome when we’re “moving along”—life feels wide open and you’re in the fast lane? Energy, opportunities and seemingly good fortune are at every turn.

Inevitably, those red brake lights start to flash and you have to slow down.

When I’m in the flow and have plenty of time to get to my destination, those red lights and sunshine slowdown do not affect me. When I am feeling rushed, I can stress out.

As the month of December ramps up, my wish for you is that you cruise through the month at the perfect speed – enjoying this festive time of year to reflect, celebrate and share your true gifts.

Here are three simple, yet fun and creative ways to to enjoy the green lights of life.

Spend a bit of time reflecting on what made this year a success for you. At my recent Success Circle, everyone pondered the important areas of their life and what went well for them this past year. For instance, did you reach your financial goal? Health goal? It’s from here that you can move onto the next step…
Celebrate! So often successful people spend more time pondering their never ending to-do list, and not celebrating their accomplishments. What will you do to acknowledge yourself this year? Take an afternoon off and visit an art museum or treat yourself to a massage?
When you take time to share your gifts – your strengths, passions and wisdom, two amazing things happen. First, your Joy Factor increases—you are feeling good when you can reveal what you are naturally good at. Unwrap your own presents, and sharing your sense of humor, patience or listening skills, just to name a few, will keep you moving at optimal speed, because you spirit is being fed.

Weave these 3 tips into your month and notice what happens…you may even feel a bit like letting someone merge into traffic… always a good place to be!

Categories Blog, Holidays, Optimism, Self-Care, Success

Something New and Delicious for Thanksgiving Dinner

by Wendy Watkins

November 20th, 2014

Dealing with all of the stresses of the holiday season can dampen this festive time of year. As you have heard me quote Mark Twain, time and time again, “If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got.”

To create a different experience for yourself and others, try this recipe below. It’s an extremely low cost recipe with a high return on your investment of time.

You can bring it to every gathering you attend for the rest of the year, and I promise it will change the way you see the holidays forever

I am going to use it, and I invite you to as well – yummy…….

Recipe for Self-Compassion

You first use a bowl of human understanding

Then sprinkle 2 measured cups of acceptance

Crack and separate 3 respect egg yolks and mix with Acceptance

Add and grate some self-love

And mix with 2 knobs of acknowledgement of emotion

Pour half a liter of self determination

Mix all ingredients until they gain correct consistency of emotion

Place in a baking dish of compassion

Bake in a human oven

Eat, enjoy, savor

And just remember, if it does not work the first time, the ingredients are free, so try again.

As heard at a compassion conversation at Emory University

Categories Blog, Holidays, Integrity, Optimism, Passion, Self-Care, Success

Can Thoughts Really Help You Get What You Want?

by Wendy Watkins

November 5th, 2014

It is hard to believe that it was about eighteen years ago when the Olympics were here in Atlanta. As cool as that was, it was not nearly as exciting as when we found out that my sister Lisa was pregnant. It was the first baby in the family – big deal!

When we learned it was a boy, the excitement escalated. We were all huge Braves fans at the time, so every time the immediate family saw Lisa, we would rub her belly and say, “now pitching for the Atlanta Braves, Jake Lovvorn”.

We said that often. It became our mantra.

It is not surprising that Jake is a hot shit left handed pitcher, getting ready to start his college baseball career in 2015.

This is a wonderful piece of evidence of attraction principles – what you put your attention on expands.

What is your mantra? What do you tell yourself regularly?

Is it “When am I going to find a job I love?” or “I love my job?” Is it “My life is awesome” or “I wish I had so and so’s (fill in the blank with whose being you covet) life, it seems so much better than mine.”

There are so many people out there dissatisfied with what they have, so they spend their time blaming or complaining about it. That seems like the normal thing to do, if you are unhappy.

Or is it?

If you are blaming and complaining, that is what you are putting attention on. And, if you are putting your attention on it, most likely you are getting more of just that.

For example, when I wanted to quit smoking cigarettes many years ago, instead of thinking about how hard it is to quit smoking (which it was), I put my attention on what I wanted – better health.

My mantra became “I prefer health.” I would let that song play in my head all the time, even when I was on the back deck smoking a cig. “I prefer health, I prefer health, I prefer health.”

Over time, when a craving would show up, I would choose not to have one until the next craving came, then I would say the mantra and eventually I stopped smoking.

There are still times that I crave a smoke, 8 years later. Guess what I say? I prefer health, and I do!

If you want to change something in your life, I invite you to:

1. Notice what you are telling yourself about your situation.

2. Shift the mantra to something positive.

Are you telling yourself you are fat?

Try telling yourself you are in the process of finding your perfect body weight.

Do you think your job sucks?

Find something to appreciate about your job, maybe the paycheck or the unlimited coffee – then reframe your thought – I prefer work that fulfills me.

Know this, changing the thought is just the beginning, and a very good beginning. From there, you’ll move forward with inspired actions so your new mantra becomes reality.

Jake does not throw 88 mph fast balls by just visualizing and affirming, he practices and works out.

By changing your thoughts you will not become the next pitcher for the Atlanta Braves (unless you are Jake!), but you will begin to live a life you are madly in love with, filled with fulfillment, peace, joy and abundance! Homerun!

Categories Blog, Optimism, Passion, Self-Care, Success

A Rant with a Reason…

by Wendy Watkins

October 22nd, 2014

A couple of weeks ago I was in NY with my coach at The Money Club. On Wednesday evening, she brought in Alana to do improv with us. It was a blast – an evening filled with laughter and many personal ah-ha’s.

One of the exercises was to rant. I chose something random that was bugging me and was surprised how good it felt to express something that was irritating me.

Recently I’ve read a few things that led me to feel the need to rant – a rant with a reason…

How can people say that this is THE book that will change YOUR life? Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan of “life-changing” books. What I have noticed is that a lot people will read a chapter or two and then expound the values of this author or process. First, they typically have not read the whole book. Second, they are still in the “talk the talk” process of learning for this book. They proceed to share it with the world, yet have not truly practiced the process. And then the next week, they are sharing the next best book, program, podcast, etc…

Yes, we must “talk the talk” before we walk the walk when learning something new. For some, that happens quickly, for others, including myself that process could be years.

The thing I now know – reading just one book is not the game-changer. Unless you read and “commit to practicing” what you have just learned over time.

My friend Patty craves personal development. It seems like every day she is trying something new – buying the next best program, listening to the next best teleclass. And honestly, she is still at the same place in her business and life when I met her many years ago. Her learning feels like playing a pinball game.

This is for you Patty…

Pick a teacher, book, coach or program. Let your logic and your intuition help you make a decision.

Commit to that modality for at least 6 months, 12 is even better. This gives you time to truly learn and integrate the information.

Enjoy the deep dive into focused learning vs. sticking your big toe into many ponds. This attention will energize you and allow you to produce sustainable change.

With the vast amount of both good and not so good information coming into our inbox every day, it can be a bit overwhelming, so we either don’t choose anything or jump into everything. This will not help you create a viable, fulfilling life.

Instead, try picking one lane and staying there for a moment.

I am not saying that is easy. When I chose my coach in early 2013, I decided to surrender to her and learn her ways. 18 months later, the number of coaching clients I’m working with has doubled and so has my income. My relationships in all areas of my life are the best they have been, and I have launched a second company aligned to my purpose and passions in life.

If you are exhausted from bouncing from book to book, program to program, I invite you to make a commitment to one practice and reap the benefits and results from that focus.

Don’t worry – all of what you perceive you are missing will be there when you finish that book or program.

And then you get to choose again…

I would love to hear your feedback on this rant. Take a minute and leave your rant here, you will be glad you did.

Categories Blog, Integrity, Optimism, Passion, Self-Care, Success

What Does Your Next Chapter Say?

by Wendy Watkins

October 8th, 2014

There is nothing better than reading a good work of fiction. Each chapter builds on the next, with some twists and turns along the way. My favorites lead me on an emotional journey, experiencing the ups, downs and all arounds of life. If I am lucky, my laughter and tears are spread over the chapters.

I am reading Outlander now, where there is adventure, history and passion woven into the story.

Any of this sound familiar?

Likely resembling the story of your life – filled with joy, laughter, adventure and more than a few surprises.

Except this is not fiction, this is your life.

The really great thing about your narrative is that you have the ability to create your own story line.

Yes, life will offer up unexpected events that you may not want to deal with, but overall every day presents a new opportunity to enhance the story of your life.

There are three parts to creating a wonderful chapter in your story. It all begins with clarity, intention and action.

1. Each morning you have the ability to create the kind of day you like. The minute you open your eyes, you can choose what your mindset is and utilize it to navigate through your day. When you awaken and shrink from the day with worry, fear or negativity you will find your experience to be less than fulfilling.

Try waking up knowing that it is going to be a good day. One of the first things I tell myself in the morning is “Something great is going to happen today.” This clarity paves the way for a satisfying day.

2. As you develop clarity, you can craft your day with positive intentions. How do you want this chapter of your life to look? A few specific intentions to enhance your day may look like this – when you get into your car, visualize the road being “wide open”. My friend Robin and I coined this term years ago and I use it each time I turn the key in the ignition. I am pleased to say that my life offers up many green lights. Another intention could be to stay focused on what is most important in the day. My clients find that when they are creating a life they love, this is a key factor that supports them in accomplishing their never ending to-do list.

3. Once you are clear on your intentions, move forward each day with inspired action. These actions are connected to the clear intentions you want to manifest throughout your day. If you are focused on accomplishing something that would denote a great day, the best way to utilize inspired actions is to perform the top three things on your to-do list first thing in the morning. This is one of the most energizing activities you can do for yourself as you are actively writing the story of your life. Partner that with a good cup of coffee and you are on your way…

As I say in my book, The Joy Factor Recipe Book – A Common Sense Approach to a Delicious Life, “You are the chef of your life, now is the time to create delicious days.”

Craft your life as something you want to read again and again as well as share with others. Utilizing these three steps, it is likely to be a page turner.

Categories Blog, Integrity, Optimism, Passion, Success

Three Ways to Let Go of What is Not Working for You

by Wendy Watkins

September 25th, 2014

Today is the first day of the Jewish New Year, one of my favorite holy days of the year.

What I love about this holiday is the focus on letting go of what did not work for you in the past year. This ritual is called Tashlich, where we symbolically cast our sins into the water. I will be going to Sweetwater Park this afternoon with my friend Jane. We will use very small pieces bread to represent qualities you want to release from the past year.

This ritual of releasing what does not serve you lightens your mental load by leaving shortcomings behind so you can begin again with a clean slate.

The end of September is also the end of the third quarter. At the beginning of this calendar year, I imagine you stated a few goals and intentions for yourself. Now is a great time to check in to see where you are and what needs to happen to achieve the goals you want to achieve.

Typically I have my clients reflect on what they need to do to reach their targets. Because it is Rosh Hashanah, I am going to invite you to look at what you need to let go of to achieve your goals.

Which one of these scenarios would assist your process?

*If you have been procrastinating about getting started on the book you want to write, or business you want to start, why not try letting go of perfection and create a shitty first draft (thank you Anne Lamott) of your outline or business plan.

*If you are struggling to reach a specific goal, why not let yourself off of the hook for not reaching it and stop beating yourself up about it. Take a few moments to reflect on what steps you have taken to reach the goal – even if they are baby steps. Once you do that, you’ll be able to readjust your strategies and move forward towards achievement.

*And then there is what we do to ourselves when our health and/or body is not where we want it to be. Here is where you can let go of comparison and create a plan and image that is in alignment with what you want for yourself, not what a magazine or your super fit sister looks like. Yes, I have one of those!

When you continue practices that do not work, you are heading straight for that place called insanity. Do something different and release a quality that is not serving you today. This will leave space for the next activity to come in and support you in enjoying many happy days and a fulfilling new year!

Categories Blog, Passion, Success

Stressed or Stretched – How to find the Sweet Spot

by Wendy Watkins

September 11th, 2014

The intention of a rubber band is to stretch, so it can do its purpose, which is to hold things together. When you pull it too far, it is stressed, so it will typically break.

The sweet spot between stressed and stretched is the place you want to be to live your purpose, without breaking.

Here are examples of stretched and stressed:

Stretch Stressed

Learning something new Having it be perfect yesterday

Train for a marathon Unrealistic goal with no plan

Lose 10 pounds in a year Try to lose 10 pounds in a month

Save money for vacation to pay in advance Pay off vacation for a year after it’s over

How do you find that sweet spot?

You partner optimism with realism.

An optimist is someone who consistently lives in a place of hopefulness and confidence that things will work out the way they want them to. Optimists will experience disappointment in not achieving a desired outcome when they do not add in a healthy dose of realism. Without a reality check, stress can take away the fun of stretching and growing into living your potential.

Over the years, I have stretched myself on a regular basis – I have started not one, but two companies, I have done a sprint triathlon and rode a century bike ride. I love a personal challenge!

And, I can overindulge, forgetting the realism and letting the optimism take over with my audacious goals. The evidence – I put too much on my plate, try to get it all done yesterday, have to have things be perfect and have no plan or a lack of focus.

Then I break down…

When that happens, I experience feelings of overwhelm and do nothing. I can cut corners, experience a lack of energy and/or low-level depression. My “rubber band” has broken.

In a world where we all have a lot to do, overwhelm happens to people on a regular basis.

I travel in a circle of people that have big missions and are accomplishing important things. They often ask, “How do I find and sustain the sweet spot?”

It’s a dance, two steps forward and 1 step back.

Here are three things I know that will help you to stay in the sweet spot.

1.Under commit and over deliver.

This statement is typically used in customer service, however I invite you to use it to take care of yourself. It’s wonderful to have a clear vision and lofty goals, but best to have realistic goals. You can always “do more”, but when too much is on your plate and you try to eat it all, you get sick and fat. Have 1-3 things to accomplish on your list. Add more as you go.

2. Keep your fountain full.

Make sure you do things that feed your spirit. In my book, The Joy Factor Recipe Book, I speak to four realms of filling your fountain. A little bit goes a long way to keep you in the sweet spot.

Physical – Drink more water or walk 30 minutes per day

Mental – Read something inspirational

Emotional – Gratitude attitude

Spiritual – Meditate or spend time in nature.

Weaving these activities into your day will keep you in the sweet spot.

3. Spend more time in the moment.

You can learn from your past and visualize your future, but checking in in the moment allows you to make conscious choices for your next steps. It could be that you’re afternoon schedule is full of important tasks, and you can barely keep your eyes open. When you take time to check in, you can choose a few options to support your success – you can close your eyes for 20 minutes, take a few minutes to refresh your body by dancing or stretching or have a cup of coffee. If you don’t take care of you first, it won’t matter how busy you are. You’ll be so exhausted, you‘ll have a hard time performing quality work anyway.

Finding the sweet spot between stretched and stressed is a practice.

If you are ready to flourish, take the time to integrate one or more of these tips to find your sweet spot between stretched and stressed. Otherwise, you may snap like a rubber band, and that would not be pretty.

Categories Blog, Integrity, Self-Care, Success

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